ilusionesluna

-60 Jumping Jacks
-1,100 Just Sweat Points
-40 squats
-40 push-ups
-60 leg lifts

My workout for the afternoon. I think I did good considering the baby was awake and active.

-to get it together immediately
- to find some sort of motivation to do it daily
-to stop ordering out
-to keep it going
-JUST DO IT!

I was doing so well and then we all ended up sick with a really nasty head cold. SO we ordered out for almost every meal it was ridiculous. Even when DH was feeling better and I wasn’t he still refused to cook which kind of pissed me off. My goal is to get in exercise of some sort twice a day oh and drink water which is sooo easy to forget about.

Its been a couple years of major successes and a long gradual slip into failure with many many false starts. I don’t know why that is or what makes the perfect mixture of ambition and success, but I have yet to find something I can hold on to. I think I know why I ultimately failed after having so much success. I started doing something that I really couldn’t keep up. In 2007 after a break up ( that didn’t last we eventually got back together) I lost 146lbs over a year and a half exercising at least 2 hours a day 6-7 days a week. While I watched what I was eating it wasn’t as much as it should have been - working out was the main source of the weight loss. I was proud of myself for being so successful and NOT dieting, I didn’t have to starve myself to do it and I missed the pitfalls of eating disorders. What I didn’t realize is that my unhealthy obsession was working out — I was addicted. As with any addiction or overindulgence eventually you burn out.
By the two year mark things were getting out of hand. It was hard to go to school full time, work full time, have a relationship with my live in boyfriend and friends an family, and still work out 12-14 hours a week. When I scaled back my workouts to a more manageable and healthier schedule I couldn’t keep the weight off because my eating was never really improved. As my frustrations grew along with the struggles with food I eventually stopped working out all together. Before I knew it I had gained back 90lbs. So, at the 90lbs mark I got two of my close friends on board, we joined a gym together and for a couple of weeks we went regularly ( the food was still a work in progress) it felt good and it was a great start. I even got a personal trainer at the gym for a couple of week when I went in alone. THEN it happened! One of my biggest reasons for losing weight initially in 2007 was to get healthy,happy, and eventually had a baby. Well as I struggled to get out of the 290s in February 2010 -1 year into a marriage I was pregnant.
Due to my size an a previous spontaneous preterm labor resulting in the loss of a son four years earlier my OB told me to leave the gym. No exercise except in a pool. Well, I didn’t have access to a pool in the middle of winter so I went back to being sedentary. The weight started piling on unfortunately. Despite knowing that I was not in fact eating for two, and that I only needed a few extra hundred calories a day, I ate like a cow. At 16 weeks I switched to a maternal fetal doctor but it was still another few weeks before she and I actually talked about exercise. I told her what the first doctor said and she told me that wasn’t true. I could do walking and other low impact exercises, but by that point we had already started so many interventions to keep me pregnant I was afraid to workout or of much of anything. I went on a self imposed modified bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was so overweight that we had no problem keeping the pregnancy a secret. We didn’t tell the families until we were 27 weeks along and no one noticed. In the fall we gave birth to a beautiful baby via c-section and I was determined to get up and about as soon as possible to give her everything she needed.
By the time she was a few weeks old I was able to get around just fine but I still was not really exercising. When I got the six weeks clearance I was still a little afraid to start but I did some light walking and a video here and there. I was however, breastfeeding and while I was not eating junk food I used it as an excuse to eat more than I should have. Not surprisingly I didn’t lose any baby weight. When I stopped breastfeeding three months ago I expected the weight to start coming off since I could cut back my eating…but I didn’t cut back my eating lol. I’ve had a few false starts since then with both eating and exercising. I keep losing the same 15 lbs. Now my daughter is almost seven months and I have to do it this time.
I want to look back at her childhood pictures with fondness and not cringe at the sight of myself. I want to be able to keep up with her as she grows and I want to be able to fully enjoy this time in my life. I’m hoping that this is not another false start.

Ok, I say i’m ready to start an i am really i am lol, but then it just doesn’t happen. I’m constantly distracted and there’s well its boring to work out alone at home…i miss the gym and aerobics classes and weight machines…oh i miss them so so much lol. It just doesn’t seem to happen in the house. Its not even that the baby prevents it because shes sleeping a lot. Gosh please money fall from the sky so I can get to the gym again at least a few times a week.  In the meantime anyone looking for a walking partner in my area I’m all ears.

Gained a bunch of weight (got lazy) and then I ha a baby so i’m starting all over again! Ready to get to it.

So, this time last year after going hard for a solid 16 months I was down 146 lbs and for the first time in my adult life under 200lbs. Fast forward to two days ago when I stepped on my scale after the holiday weekend to see the scale read 290 lbs. I nearly had a heart attack. For days, weeks, and dare I say months I have been telling myself that I would not let the scale go up anymore. After countless times of telling myself that I will start tomorrow I am frustrated for not lettign tomorrow be yesterday. I know, I know, we all make mistakes and what matters is getting it together now and moving forward. This is true. It is also true that I can and should be mad at myself for this, at least for a few minutes. I let this happen and whats worse is I knew it was happening and still was not motivated enough to stop it. What happened? I think I got too cocky. After working so hard the first time, i think that I really believed that it was different now. Of course I could get this 5lbs off next week when I go back to the gym because look at what I did before. Then 5 lbs turned into 15 into 30 and into 90. I’m disappointed because I knew better and I know how hard it is to get started,keep it going, get it off, and now keeping it off. I’m making small steps trying to get back on track and so far its working. I know if I try to much too fast it wont last so I am going slowly. It is what it is but sheesh I wish it wasn’t

I have had a long break from progress,goals,motivation and even will in regards to weight loss. Ive also battled general unhappiness and illness this summer. However I am back and ready to be motivated. Any one have any new advice ideas stories etc send them my way

I just wanted to let everyone know,especially my team why I’ve been away lately. I have sadly packed back on some weight i dont know how much bc i havent dared step on a scale. This semester has been a hard one things with school just never clicked and im fighting to finish out the semester with passing grades. I am in the begining stages of divorce, and that leaves me practically homeless because i was already living check to check and have nothing saved to move into a new apartment or anyone withthe space to let me crash, and finally yesterday I lost my job. So ive been going in and out of depression and bad eating. I plan to hit the gym after class, but i dont know whats going to happen as far as a place to live and such. just wanted to leave an update

I have to come clean everyone, not only did I fall off the wagon, I was underneath it. I got complacent around the holidays then when the first few pounds creeped up I didn’t log them in fact I avoided the sites all togehter. Then I went on vacation then school and stress set in. Combine that with bad eating no exercise constant birthdays and a family trauma. In a month and a half I put on 27 lbs. No worries though I am back on track started a new eating plan today as well as getting back to the gym. The most important thing for me was sitting down with my husband and discussing the stressors in my life right now. As an emotional eater that was the key for me. Last night we went grocery shopping and now I am ready to go. I hope evryone can find ways to refocus when they need to it was definitely a reminder of how easy it is to get so far off course.

Well its officially fall, leaves turning and making piles for jumping in and the ultra cool weather are nice but all I want is snow. I know I know lol but I cant help its I love snow and this time of year.  Unlike most people the fall is when I usually get back on track and stay on track.  There are too many temptations between Thanksgiving, Christmas, hot coco, cider,  and catching up with old friends home for the holidays. Those tempations make me super cautious, which could not have happened at a better time because all of October I was really lax with my eating and more importantly my drinking, during those football sundays at the bar. When even though I was drinking cranberry and seltzer most of the time, the cranberry added up fast. my exercise wanes too in that time bewteen the end of summer and leaves turning. However, I have found if I write down my workouts or at least a group of exercises everyday I am more likely to get them done. Its been working wonderfully these last few weeks and easier than keeping a food journal which I just cant seem to do no matter how committed I am.  Getting outdoors is also easier for me in cool weather, I am more likely to get a quick 20 or 30 min walk in than when its slightly warmer. I ssuppose the best thing about fall though is the down time, we really start to appreciate the nothing time. I love being curled up on my couch after a full day to watch trashy T.V. somehow it feels more deserved. Perhaps its something about fighting through the cold, and getting everything done, especially as it gets darker so much earlier. Fall definitely does something for my preparedness as well, as I have already developed a plan for surviving Thanksgiving, which with my family is unreal. Soooo much foood!!! I hope everyone is embracing fall, staying on track, and making great progress.